Retirement plans

Ricardo and Bettina, slightly worried pensioners, discuss their future.

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Bettina: Where we gonna live?

Ricardo: Seems all right here. Water has fish. Market has veg. Piazza has coffee and talk. What more we want?

Bettina: We don’t have no visa.

Ricardo: We live on the boat. They approach, we up anchor, go Italy overnight.

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Statler and Waldorf on gentlemen's clubs

Statler and Waldorf are a little confused between the old and the new connotations of gentlemen's clubs.

Statler: Tell me about your retirement plans!

Waldorf: Who knows? Plans are fickle things. Yesterday I was thinking about Uruguay because they don’t have such an aging population or such high tax.

Statler: That was yesterday.

Waldorf: Yes. Today, I am thinking, well maybe Palmerston North wouldn’t be so bad, it’s got a lot of wind and rain so we could future-proof ourselves against power and water there maybe? Nice place to sit indoors. I dream of a nice club or maybe coffee shop somewhere you and I could have a game of chess or go wuff wuff behind our newspapers.

Statler: Umm. By club, do you mean the old sort or the new sort?

Waldorf: Whatever do you mean?

Statler: Well, the old sort were the kind where men could go to get away from females in general but now clubs seem to mean the opposite.

Waldorf: Aah. Well, we are of an age where I think we mean the former. Don’t we?

Statler: Do we?

Retirement talk

Hiroshi and Akira are on Monday afternoon reception duty, there isn’t a lot of activity, Hiroshi sighs and says:

Hiroshi: I’m going to retire next year.

Akira: No you’re not.

Hiroshi: Yes I am.

Akira: You say that every year. And you never do.

Hiroshi: Next year for sure. The pension funds are collapsing and I’m exhausted with commuting. And I have enough saved up.

Akira: So what will you do? B&B from a log cabin?

Hiroshi: It’s not such a bad idea. City people just don’t take time to communicate properly. So busy barking on their cell phones moving meetings and recycling rumors.

Akira: People in the country are dangerous, too. Look, every year you read about someone who goes mad because the solitude gets to them so they throw the gun in the back of the 4WD and drive into the village and take out someone at the local sushi bar.

Hiroshi: Are you telling me I should rethink?

Akira: Put it off for another year.

Hiroshi: Another year. Just for you. Then I’ll go.

Akira: I’ll believe it when I see it.

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