Saturday, December 20, 2008

from TXTland

On vacation in an Internetless region, or rather can you believe an area that tries to function on DIAL-UP speeds?

Result: Blog suspended until January 3 when I can upload postings that take less than an hour to arrive on the blogsite.

Give you three guesses where this is being sent from:

(a) Auckland, NEW ZEALAND.
(b) Rotorua, NEW ZEALAND.
(c) Napier, NEW ZEALAND.

Correct answer: All three... UNTIL THEN!

NO WONDER the NZ dollar has almost halved in value against USD, JPY and EUR in the last 4 months!

Weather's nice though... would post a photo but graphic capabilities are reduced to lopsided smileys :-)


Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Cultural extinction

Kristian lunches with the Research Committee Chairman who says Kristian faces a problem in his application for overseas study leave.


Research Committee Chair: You want to go to Peru? Potatoes?

Kristian: It’s not just the four thousand varieties of potato, no. It’s an investigation into Amerindian cultures and languages.

Research Committee Chair: Woolly. No thrust. It’ll be turned down.

Kristian: But cultures and languages are important.

Research Committee Chair: There are travel warnings out for Peru. Non-essential travel banned.

Kristian: Could we reword it. How about Cultures and languages facing EXTINCTION?

Research Committee Chair: Extinction. Hmm. Could work. Sense of danger gives it some purpose, gives it some thrust.



Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Christmas decorations

Chatter among barbers about brightening up their shop to attract more customers...

Stephen S: Tinsel, we need tinsel.

George L: And stars. Stars hung from the tinsel loops.

Robert R: Watch it. Careful what shape the stars are. No star of Davids.

Stephen S: Sure. And we have to be careful the tinsel hanging from the mirrors doesn't obscure the mirrors. Customers throats could get nicked... Ha!

George L: Hats. We wear those red and white pointy hats. I like them.

Robert R: Can't. That's what Santa Claus wears. All our customers are Muslim.


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Monday, December 8, 2008


To people who are not digital natives, there are a lot of neologisms to come to terms with.


What is it you do?

I’m a blogger.

What exactly does a, a …



I blog. Special kind of blog though. Mostly about fonts. So you could say I’m also a fontographer.

And fonts are…?

Typefaces. Letters. On a computer screen. I also do graphics. It all comes together in videographs.

That’s a lot of graph-work. Are you a graphiti artist?


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Saturday, December 6, 2008

Cat café

Cerise visits a cat café, and after sitting watching the 30 odd cats cavort about the salon, believes she can hear them talking.


Superior Cat: Many people come here. I study them. My conclusion is that we cats are in every way superior.

 Abby: Agreed. Have you ever heard any human talk to us which persuades you that he or she is sane?

Superior Cat: Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. We cats have never forgotten this.

 Abby: But not everyone who comes in here likes us. Just the other day, I heard someone say cats are sneaky and lazy.

 Superior Cat: Very true, and we have many other fine qualities as well.

 Abby: But what do we do if we get into trouble?

 Superior Cat: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.



Thursday, December 4, 2008

Ad hoc cooking

Macon explains his ad hoc approach to cooking.


Macon: I adapt. I borrow. Cooking depends on what is to hand, the art of cooking lies in the details, the subtleties, the context.

Brother: Context?

Macon: It’s like a battle. You seize whatever will get the job done. Example, This lamb has a lamby taste, yes, but there is mixed in the flavor of tomatoes, the sniff of garlic, the texture of onion. And alongside, the potatoes, bathed in a mushroom sauce, does that not…

Brother: What?

Macon: Is it not suggestive?

Brother: Yes. It suggests you gave up serving up a soup and instead turned it into a mushroom sauce for the caulis and brocs.

Macon: Exactly. In my cooking, nothing is ever as planned. TJH. Things just happen. QS.

Brother: QS?

Macon: Que sera. Whatever will be, will be.


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Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Face muscles

Cat girl interfaces with the vet.

Cat girl: Cute.

Vet: Nice smile. Know how many muscles a cat has in its face?

Cat girl: Er…

Vet: OK. How many muscles in the human face?

Cat girl: Twenty?

Vet: More.

Cat girl: Forty?

Vet: More.

Cat girl: Fifty?

Vet: About that. From the buccinators to the occipitsla frontalis. About ten times as many as a cat.

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