Name recall

Esther thinks she recognizes a woman sitting across the square.

...

Esther: Who’s that?

Abigail: Who?

Esther: That woman sitting near the bootery.

Abigail: Might have seen her, oh, it’s old whatshername.

Esther: So what is it?

Abigail: Hmm. Doris?

Esther: She doesn’t look like a Doris.

Abigail: Shall we go and have a chat?

Esther: Can’t do that. Can’t go and chat without knowing her name. Got to watch what you say so carefully.

Abigail: If you start talking to her, it’ll come to you.

Esther: Oh sure. Like she’s just bound to drop her own name into the conversation.

Abigail: It happens. She looks the type.

Esther: The type.

Abigail: The type who’d say “I was just going down to the shops and I came out without me money and I sez to myself, ‘You’re getting very forgetful these days Shirl, me girl.’”

Esther: Shirley! That’s it. How’d you remember?

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Towel, Bowel, Howel

Pompado inquires at the office if there is any news of a missing friend, who goes by a generic Welsh name. The office girl, Komeko, has difficulty recalling him.

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Komeko: Your friend’s name is?

Pompado: Howel.

Komeko: Towel?

Pompado: Howel.

Komeko: Sorry, I can’t recall all those part-timer’s names. Bowel you say his name was?

Pompado: He’s not a part-timer. He’s a fool-timer. Name is Howel. H-O-W-E-L. One “l” or two I can’t remember, he’s been away so long. “Ha” as in “How long?”

Komeko: Howel. Oh I recall now. He went away.

Pompado: That’s the one. About a year ago.

Komeko: I vaguely recall. Ah, yes, the one that sent me all those photographs of Namibia.

Pompado: Why’d he do that?

Namiko: I’d been to Lesotho. He thought I’d be interested.

Pompado: And were you?

Komeko: Interested? I liked the one of him up a tree with an angry rhino down below. Cute.

Pompado: The rhino?

Komeko: No, Bowel up the tree.

...

Naming blogs

Eric is explaining to Jessica that he has difficulty finding a new name for his blog. He is both amused and frustrated.

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Eric: I was looking for a new blog name but as soon as I google anything, pages and pages spill down the screen. Nothing is unique now on the Internet.

Jessica: Seahorse?

Eric: Millions of them.

Jessica: Blokes’ blogs?

Eric: Bah. Heaps.

Jessica: Diablog?

Eric: You wouldn’t think so, but there are zillions. Well, quite a few anyway. One diablog wasn’t a diablog at all. Just a place for a daily comment on new technologies. A bare bones comment.

Jessica: Maybe you could have a competition. Ask your readers to come up with an idea. Offer them a prize.

Eric: I don’t have any readers. And even if I did, what could I offer as a prize? The bumblebee jumper Aunt Dodie knitted for Sauerkraut? He did outgrow it so he wouldn’t miss it.

Jessica: Hmm. Bare bones, bumblebees, There’s a theme here. Couldn’t call your blog Stripes?

Eric: There’s 57 varieties of striped blogs. Have to keep thinking. Back to the drawing board.

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Changing the name

Two seahorses, Stan and Sandy, meet near the inner reef.

Stan: There comes a time.

Sandy: Yes.

Stan: When you need to change your name.

Sandy: What happened to the old one?

Stan: The old one doesn’t fit anymore.

Sandy: Why?

Stan: You’ve heard about it haven’t you? Male seahorses getting pregnant?

Sandy: You didn't know? Your father never told you? So what’ll the new name be?

Stan: I’m mulling it over. Tell you tomorrow.

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Superman

You hear about this New Zealand family who want to call their baby For Real?

So?

They get turned down by the government registry. Cause they want to spell it with the number 4. 4real. Registry says they can't make a name that is alphanumeric. Has to be a sequence of characters, all letters, no numbers.

For real?

For real. Registry blokes a pack of twits I reckon. But you can also see the kid would cop it at school.

Cruel places, schools. Look at the front page of the Courier today. Picture of two school kids, caption underneath, "Run or we'll stab you" is what they were told by gang members. Anyway, what's wrong with putting a number in a name. Yanks do it all the time. Charles Glaston II. They're only symbols for pity's sake.

But here's the kicker. So the family comes up with another name. Superman.

No. Fair go?

For real.

Not Superman II?
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