Jet lag

An airport hotel lobby:

Belgian traveller: Come far?
African traveller: Eleven hours.
Belgian traveller: Jet lag?
African traveller: Some. Whenever I fly that long the brain comes in a day or two later.
Belgian traveller: Try one of these homeopathic jet lag tabs. They're from New Zealand.
African traveller: Thanks.
Belgian traveller: Anyway, what brings you here?
African traveller: Getting pictures of white faces for a book.
Belgian traveller: Not very PC.
African traveller: In Africa white faces are a bit thin on the ground. OK, does Eurofaces sound more neutral? Anyway, why are you here?
Belgian traveller: A get-together. Kind of a reunion. Those are my friends. We're waiting for another old friend who used to be a pilot in Estonian Airways. Trouble is I forgot his name.
African traveller: You must mean Scut. I'm here to see him too.
Belgian traveller: Then you must be...
African traveller: Yes, I am.
...

Getting up early

Flying west, jetlag has its good side.
How can jetlag have anything good about it?
You get up earlier. Here it’s five hours behind, so I am wide awake by 4 AM.
How awful.
On the contrary. You can get a lot done between four and seven. Actually IRONING today’s shirt, going to the market for fresh mango, organizing the rest of my life.
Kind of on the principle that one hour in the morning is worth two in the afternoon?
Oh, I like that. Hadn’t heard it before. Can I have it?
Go ahead. Use it. And does this mean that you carry on being super-efficient until midnight?
Er, no. End of the day you feel a bit ragged I have to admit. Yeah, remaining conscious through an evening’s movie, forget it.
And when you’ve got to where you’re going and jetlag wears off life returns to normal?
After week or so, yes, the pendulum swings back, I revert to being a night person and going to bed at midnight and getting up at 7, and generally achieving no more than one thing a day. And that is a GOOD day. But for a short time it’s like being Robert De Niro as Leonard in Awakenings.
...