Gaelic football

Winston finds himself next to Rory watching the United vs Chelsea match.
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Rory: Pah! Missed again.

Winston: You ever play football?

Rory: I played Gaelic football.

Winston: Gaelic?

Rory: Bit like Australian rules but a net in the hole in the goal posts.

Winston: Dublin?

Rory: There was no other option. If you played football, it was unpatriotic. It was like saying I support England. It could get you killed.

Winston: So the sport you played was a statement of nationality?

Rory: It was sheer peer pressure. Question of survival, man. There were no choices.
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Football and politics

Gordon and Tony make small talk before the cabinet meeting.

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Tony: You look a bit wrecked. Up all night?

Gordon: Spurs won! Bit of celebrating.

Tony: I know. Nice penalty straight ahead in the final minute.

Gordon: Best way to do it. Goalies are 25% more likely to dive right or left than stay in the middle.

Tony: Message in that maybe? Put the reshuffle on the top of the agenda and don't hide it in a corner?

Gordon: Let's get this meeting over with. Manchester United are on at 2 o'clock.
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