Exercise and diet

After hearing the diagnosis, the patient seeks advice.

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Patient: Doctor, I’ve heard that aerobic exercise can make you live longer.

Doctor: Your heart is programmed to beat only a fixed number of times. It’s like saying your car will only run 300,000 ks. Go fast and you’ll wear it out quicker. Slow down, take a nap.

Patient: Well, what about eating less meat and eating more vegetables?

Doctor: Ha. What does a cow eat? Grass and sometimes corn. Vegetables! Eating beef is an efficient way of getting vegetables.

Patient: How about grains?

Doctor: Eat chicken. They eat grain and taste a whole lot better.

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Dieting by diversion

Janet and Gladys are in a meeting. Both sometimes worry about getting overweight. Janet shows Gladys the story about Nancy Makin.

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Janet: Did you see this article about the woman who lost weight without even trying? Went down from 500 pounds to 170?

Gladys: I saw the story yesterday. And didn’t go outside for twelve years!

Janet: And then got help by chatting anonymously online.

Gladys: So the Internet helped. People communicated with her because of what she wrote, not because of what she looked like.

Janet: The bit I liked was that as a result she didn’t diet, or have surgery, or take medication to slim down. She did something else and she forgot about binge eating.

Gladys: Like the best way to get what you want is to help someone else get what they want.

Janet: Not quite the same. Maybe a closer analogy is to get better at another language by studying something else in that language.

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Fat

Doctor, can I just ask you, I'm a bit concerned, my weight has gone up to 70 kilograms.

From what and since when?

I was 67 kilos six months ago.

Hmm, three kilos, huh.

That's fat, isn't it?

Well, considering you are, what is it, a hundred and fifty centimeters...

So you think I should diet?

And exercising. But there is a way to lose three kilos pretty quickly.

Tell me, tell me.

The human head weighs three kilos.
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