Utility bicycles

Norman (bicycle repairman) chats while mending the Greg's crank.
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Greg: You seeing a lot of business these days what with the gas prices and all?

Norman: Not too bad.

Greg: Almost a windfall?

Norman: New bike sales are up. But people are buying the cheaper models, utility bikes they can ride the supermarket or leave at the station. Ones with mudguards and carriers.

Greg: Sports bikes...?

Norman: Not increasing. And profits are very slim in utility bikes.

Greg: But you make it back mending their pedals.

Norman: A lot are doing it themselves. Say what you like but I'm seeing the depression coming back.
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Raleigh

At the back of the market Frederich stumbles on a Raleigh Sports.

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Frederich: Whose is this?

Somchai: The bicycle?

Frederich: Nicely preserved.

Somchai: It’s been restored.

Frederich: By you?

Somchai: Yes. All original. 1957. See? Raleigh Sports. Made in England.

Frederich: I think you’ve installed a back wheel brake off something else on the front wheel. And the saddle-bag seems Chinese.

Somchai: Well, yes.

Frederich: So it’s not exactly an original.

Somchai: Not… exactly.

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When does fatigue set in?

Miguel asks Lance about his thoughts on aluminum frames.

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Miguel: I know aluminum is good. That’s not an issue. But I was reading the manual and it said that the frame should last at least two years. And yet they give a lifetime guarantee.

Lance: Probably just covering themselves from legal action. Maybe serious racers put more stress on the frames.

Miguel: But does lifetime guarantee cover accidents?

Lance: Not accidents. Faulty workmanship, yes. But if they see truck tire marks over a crushed frame they won’t give you a free new one.

Miguel: So then I asked about fatigue, metal fatigue, and there was some humming and hawing.

Lance: Yeah?

Miguel: And they said under fair use, fatigue wouldn’t set in for many years.

Lance: Avoiding the issue, eh? Anyway, the only way to check for fatigue is to cut up the frame, dye the metal and examine under a microscope. Best thing is, you should do a regular visual check on the fram, especially around the bottom bracket and the steering head.

Miguel: Steering head? I was talking about sunglass frames.

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Turning the handlebars makes the wheel elliptical

The artist is talking to the cyclist.

Cyclist: Can I use the bicycle?

Artist: Wait a moment. I’m trying to see what happens when you turn the handlebars to the right.

Cyclist: The bicycle turns to the right?

Artist: I want to see what happens to the wheel. See? It turns elliptical. And the right handlebar goes down and the left handlebar comes up.

Cyclist: It doesn’t feel like that when you’re riding it.

The sound of air hissing out

Oliver is thinking of submitting a short film for the “Filmed by Bike” festival to be held in Portland, April 2008.

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Oliver: It’s only short films, six to ten minutes, see, so I just thought up this scenario.

Ned: Tell.

Oliver: This actually happened to me. I’m riding my bicycle through the forest and I’m saying to myself be careful of the tree roots because if you hit one you’ll get a puncture and you have no repair kit.

Ned: No repair kit.

Oliver: And I’m humming along and suddenly there’s a bump and I say “Steady on” and then there’s this SSSSS – sound. “Darn it.” I’m just thinking about getting a punk and damn me if doesn’t actually happen there and then.

Ned: Power of positive thinking? Visualizing your goals?

Oliver: I jump off and look down and there’s this leaf caught between the brake and the tire whizzing round is making the SSSSSS –sound.

Ned: And you want to make a film of this?

Oliver: What do you think?

Ned: Ten seconds long should be plenty.

...

Bicycle incident

Miyuki and Ayano are walking these days because of incidents involving their bicycles.

Miyuki: I came back and found it lying in the in the gutter all crushed and bent.

Ayano: Repairable?

Miyuki: No way. Beyond repair.

Ayano: Insurance?

Miyuki: Are you joking?

Ayano: Well, a new one doesn’t cost so much.

Miyuki: But they didn’t even leave a note to say sorry.

Ayano: Well, the police?

Miyuki: Stop it.

Ayano: I’m not being unsympathetic. You know the bicycle police removed mine the other day. I was only gone for two hours.

Miyuki: Did you find it?

Ayano: I went to the police station and they told me where to go, a 15 minute bus ride. And then I had to look for it and finally I found it, and then the cheek of it, I had to pay 3000 yen to release it.

Miyuki: And it’s only worth 3000 yen?

Wooden bicycle

Scene 41: Hitchhiker's Guide to Scandinavia: Streckers Bar: Hans Lederflynt is chatting with the Somali cook Ghedi.

Ghedi: Herring again?

Hans: I like herring.

Ghedi: Where you been today?

Hans: Sweden for free.

Ghedi: Cheapskate. You packed a picnic and took the train to Malmo and went to all the free places.

Hans: Over the 8 kilometer Oresund Link. Beautiful technology. Actually, I went to look at a bicycle. A wooden one with a spruce frame.

Ghedi: You want to go back and live in the 19th century? Sounds heavy and fragile. A bicycle built of broomsticks? Make mine metal anyday.

Hans: Or carbon fiber. Looked nice but I passed. Inappropriate technology. Sometimes you overstate the craft too much and the technology goes weak at the knees. An Oresund bridge built of wood? 50 meters above the water? Creaky and scary!

Tail wind

Mike of Mike's Bikes: Do you want a city bike or a serious bike?

Ancient Cyclist: Something simple. And a carrier. I have gear.

Mike of Mike's Bikes: My simple bikes only have three gears. The MTB has 21.

Ancient Cyclist: I meant I have a bag to carry.

Mike of Mike's Bikes: Do you need a trailer?

Ancient Cyclist: No trailer. No MTB. This simple bike will do just fine.

Mike of Mike's Bikes: Going far?

Ancient Cyclist: Where does the wind come from?

Mike of Mike's Bikes: The west.

Ancient Cyclist: Then I will go east and come back by train.
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Yellow Bicycles

“It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best, since you have to sweat up the hills and coast down them. Thus you remember them as they actually are, while in a motor car only a high hill impresses you, and you have no such accurate remembrance of country you have driven through as you gain by riding a bicycle.” Ernest Hemingway.

The weather at zero degrees ( C ) today has me wishing it were not winter and that a ride on a summer afternoon was planned. Best I could do was put on a yellow jersey and cycle to Denny’s.

Yellow is a cheerful color, associated with daffodils in the spring, with the sun in any season…And the maillot jaune. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maillot_jaune

Bicycles offend few people and even inspire many.

Mark Twain said, “Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live.”

H.G. Wells was unequivocal. “When I see an adult on a bicycle, I do not despair for the future of the human race.”

And after bicycle and its rider have navigated many years unscathed, where do they go? Disposing of a worn out human body has its prescribed protocols, but where do old bicycles go when they are not up to it anymore? For retiring old bicycles see www.geocities.com/verdrahciretop/bikes.html

“The bicycle is just as good company as most husbands and, when it gets old and shabby, a woman can dispose of it and get a new one without shocking the entire community.” Ann Strong

That all said, here’s a last word from Paul Scott Mowrer: “There is nothing like walking to get the feel of a country. A fine landscape is like a piece of music; it must be taken at the right tempo. Even a bicycle goes too fast.”