Affirmative action

Affirmative action

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Oprah: Michelle became what she was by affirmative action. Hillary got where she was with the help of Bill.

Eva: No way. Michelle and Hillary got there by climbing obstacles. They had to run in the outside lane.

Oprah: You don’t think they got even a little boost from AA and Bill?

Eva: Look, AA and Bill wouldn’t have been the slightest good if they hadn’t had what it takes.

Oprah: So is it time to scrap affirmative action? Like they have in Colorado, and Nebraska?

Eva: May be a little early. Despite the exceptions of the Obamas and Hillary Clinton, there are still plenty of poor and disadvantaged who could use a little AA.

Oprah: Like white males?

Eva: For them we’ll need an amendment specifying competence disorder.

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Word Play

Bill is busy on crosswords but Hillary wants him on other work.

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Hill: Did you see that photo Drudge got of me? I need a better public image.

Bill: I’m working on it. I’m sending this to the New York Times crossword editor.

Hill: I need some good photos, Bill.

Bill: We need words, too, Hill.

Hill: How can a crossword help?

Bill: I’m writing clues. First woman president in 7 letters. Mother of Chelsea in 7 letters. Husband of Bill in 7 letters.

Hill: All the words in the puzzle the same? I still think photos are more powerful than a subliminal approach.

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What, me worry?

Larry interviews Alfred E… er ?
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Larry: Who was it that compared you to George?

Alfred: Hillary Clinton.

Larry: And did she apologize to George?

Alfred: She hasn’t so far.

Larry: And did she apologize to you?

Alfred: She did. She did.

Larry: Did she say why she did it?

Alfred: She was parodying his “What, me worry?” stand.

Larry: Not his looks?

Alfred: Well, that’s what all you media people picked up.

Larry: I’m sorry about that. Even Dick Cheney says you are much more handsome than George.

Alfred: The shootist?

Larry: Alfred, there are a lot of people who think you would do a better job as president than George. What answer would you give them?

Alfred: I can spell Bush, he can’t spell Neuman.

Larry: With me in the studio tonight was Alfred E. Neuman, whose election slogan is "How come we choose from just two people for President, and fifty for Miss America?" Good night and Good Luck.

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