Morning newspaper

Toddler’s head mutilated by pit bull.

One boiled egg or two?

One. Here’s another. 42 year old riding on car bonnet causes fatal head-on smash killing four.

I told you. You only give yourself pain reading the morning newspaper.

Well I don’t know. The dog article is a bit of negative reportage admittedly but ends on a positive note.

The child miraculously recovered?

Not exactly. No, there’s a list of ten handy suggestions on what to do when a Brazilian fila, Dogo Argentina or Japanese Tosa comes at you with the intent to maul.

Like?

Don’t look it in the eye and when it knocks you down, pretend you’re dead.

Handy to know these things.